Today is my one year cancerversary!! Unless you've personally experienced a cancer journey you can't truly understand what this day means to me. So many ups and downs. So many twists and turns. So many tears. So many victories celebrated. So many times I wavered. Would I make it? Would I get to live the life I always dreamed of? Would my hair REALLY grow back? Would I ever feel normal again? One year later, I did make it! I am living my best life, yes my hair is growing back and I'm considered fairly normal.
Most people consider the day they finish treatment as their cancerversary date. However, I look at it differently. Mine started the day I had my cancer diagnosis. The dread I had for this time of year coming around again seems to have surprised me. I remember recalling detail by detail how I first went into hospital, what exact time I was diagnosed, when my first session of chemo started. Amongst my family and friends there were many conversations starting with "This time last year we were...", but yet there were no tears, no breakdowns and no terrifying nightmares of reliving everything that had happened just a mere year ago. It's as if this whole experience has been a dream, and now I've woken up and can see it all clearly for what it was - just a little blip in the grand scheme of life.
2018 was like a never-ending rollercoaster ride and although my journey is far from over, I can only be grateful for all the beautiful moments I've been lucky enough to experience. I was able to learn a lot about myself, spend time with my family, somehow find myself again when things seemed almost hopeless and met people that have changed my life. I can only speak for myself in saying that as heartbreaking as the year was, I can only be grateful for what I've gained - strength I never knew I had, love and support one could only dream of and the revelation of how precious life really is.
The best things truly happen when we least expect it and everything that does, happens for a reason - the only thing we can do is embrace it! If I can still be here a year later, alive, breathing and happy then that has got to count for something, right?
So this year is the first of many celebrations.
I celebrate that I survived the fear and uncertainty cancer brings and the surgeries, chemo and medications that followed.
I celebrate all the amazing people that I have met in this club that nobody asks to join.
And finally, I celebrate that I got the chance to live.
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