It's been a big few weeks. But it feels like every week is a big one now, and all things seem significant, wherever they lie on the spectrum. I'm going to trace back a few weeks and update you all on what has been happening.
I had my Port-A-Cath inserted four weeks ago which was a relatively quick and painless procedure. I should probably explain at this point what a port actually is. It is a device which allows medications to be easily administered without having to repeatedly access peripheral veins with a needle. The insertion of my port was long overdue as I had already spent four weeks in hospital being pricked frequently everyday. Externally it appears as a bump under my skin, but internally the catheter is surgically inserted into my jugular vein then tunneled through into the superior vena cava.
It was a quick procedure but the preparation and consent forms ended up meaning the whole thing took roughly two hours. Honestly, time flew by and this is my Midazolam-induced recollection of events. So I walked into the operating theatre, leaving behind my teary eyed Mother in the waiting room. Inside I met the nurses who would be assisting with the procedure, they explained what would be done and reassured me that it would all be over in no time. Explanations are something that really put me at ease, probably because of my control freak nature. There's something about theatre that makes me so curious and I wanted to know exactly what was going on. My awareness began to fade once the sedation had set in, then all I remember is being woken up by the fluorescent lights in post-op. My port has been used a few times now, for CT contrast dye and withdrawal of blood. It's totally pain and stress free.
On the 14th of May the results from my progress CT scan were discussed with my oncologist. Great news! The main cancer had reacted to the chemotherapy and shrunk significantly, same with the spots on my liver. I left the meeting feeling extremely pleased and relieved that my next hurdle (surgery) was just around the corner.
Then yesterday morning I was admitted into acute oncology with back pain, and by the afternoon I learned that the cancer had grown back during the time without chemo. It was a very bitter, sweet moment. Unfortunate that the cancer has proved its aggressive nature, but fortunate no new spots appeared on the scan. It's really difficult news to process after so many positive steps forward over the past month. As my surgery date approaches, the reality of it all sets in. I am about to undergo an extensive surgery that will change my life forever. All I can hope for is a successful outcome and a speedy recovery.
So as I sit here today, patiently waiting for Friday to come, I hope you all start your day feeling grateful for what you have and who you have around you. There are always going to be good and bad days, but how you live those days is your choice. Everyday I wake up and I choose happiness. This is what drives me to confront every experience with a smile and a positive attitude.
I hope to update again soon,
Chi x
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